Some decisions are hard to make. Simply because it is not just yours alone, it alters other people's lives when we make a life changing decision. 3 years back, during covid, a lot happened around me. Series of incidents took place. I am sure every single person has a story to tell after the covid quarantine days.
To start with, my husband was stuck in Saudi, and I was alone in Kuwait, followed by my dad passing away and I couldn't even attend his funeral, and soon, I was losing my job.
To be honest, nothing else mattered to most of them except that I didn't go back to searching for a new job soon enough! But how does my decision matter to others? What was their business anyway?
A few decades earlier, when women began stepping out of their homes to look for a job, to be financially independent. It surprised many and offended the so-called orthodox groups. They saw women as being arrogant, careless, and selfish and didn't like the fact that women were doing better than most men did in their jobs, and they felt a woman's job was at home!
Since the recent past, I have seen quiet the opposite. The vibes I received when I didn't search for a job were appalling. I was made to feel that it was mandatory to get back to the job, or else my reputation would be at stake!
I was suddenly judged again for the very reasons women were judged in the past, like being careless, selfish, and not having the urge to be independent or ambitious, or maybe some even thought I didn't have it in me anymore. Well, people will be judgemental anyway, isn't it?
Now, I wonder why a personal decision needs to be judged. Anyone in a family can be a breadwinner. When I say anyone, it can be a man or a woman.
That does not mean that the other person at home lacks confidence or puts the family in suffering. I am not saying these things don't happen. But maybe not! We don't know. Do we?
I have seen many families where the women are working and have done very well at their job, when their men were not! They (men) couldn't even find a job and lacked positive reinforcement. Does that mean they put their women in suffering and enjoyed their life at home?
I understand about gender equality, and women should be prepared to face any situation. However, these decisions are totally subjective. It is hurtful to see a person, whether a man or a woman, being judged for a personal decision made due to a circumstance.
We find a lot of celebrities who make strong statements on how women need to be and that they have to earn their own money and big talks about women empowerment. But not one talks about what a man should or shouldn't do. Is it because men are supposed to do all what they ought to do by default, and they have no say on anything but follow the norms of society?
Based on my personal experience, women should be prepared to face any situation that may come her way. She needs to be daring and caring at the same time. She is the strength their home needs. Her decisions can make or break her family.
And if things go wrong, she needs to be qualified and strong enough to walk out of that door and say, "Look, I can deal with it on my own!"
She needs to see what her personal needs are and make decisions based on that, and she should not be judged for the decision she makes.
All the women empowerment crap sounds good when you speak sitting at the top, but sorry to say it is not the same when we tap each door and check into everyone's lives personally.
This also means that my words may or may not be liked by half of them, but that is indeed sad but also true.
I want to conclude saying, gender equality comes when one is given the freedom to decide without being judged by anyone. When we are a part of a family, it is never you and me it is always ours.
There is no question of who works and who takes care of home when we look at everything from a broader perspective.
Have a good day!